People trapped in a cycle of trauma often blame their circumstances and other people for wrecking their lives. However, the good news is that we are not as helpless as we imagine ourselves. Have you noticed how the world that appears to be unliveable, becomes desirable within minutes of hearing some joyful news? A fundamental shift in your perception recreates the world we live in. In life, pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. Here are 5 signs that might indicate therapy could help you live a happier life:
1- Self-blame and self-hatred
Do you hear yourself saying, “It’s all my fault... if only I was different in...” The blame and hatred projected onto you during your childhood gradually became an internalised voice that dictated your beliefs and behaviour patterns.
2- Helplessness
Do you feel helpless because of your current circumstances? As a baby, you depended on your caretakers for your basic needs. Healing is required if as an adult, you still feel that other people are responsible for the quality of your life. The self-limiting narrative of being a helpless victim keeps you locked in pain and misery.
3- Feeling Misunderstood by Other People
Are you afraid of expressing yourself because you might be misunderstood? All humans have an innate need to be seen, heard and understood. Feeling misunderstood can at times create patterns of withdrawal and distrust. Your self-worth and your relationships can be deeply impacted by a feeling of being misunderstood.
4- People Pleasing
Do you find yourself overlooking your own needs to please other people? Though the people-pleasing patterns are an attempt to protect yourself from judgment and criticism, they take a toll on your physical and mental health.
5- Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a curse because no individual can be consistently flawless at everything. Embracing your imperfect human self with compassion can bring healing and strength to your life.
Author: Fatima Tahira
Integrative and Somatic Therapist
M.A, CI, IFS, MBACP
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